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The Three Lies that We Believe to be Happy

There are three lies our heart believes that challenge hearing
God and our relationships with people:

LIE #1:  I need to change people’s behaviour to be happy.

Silently ask the Lord this question:  “Lord Jesus, do I believe in my heart that I need to change others’ behaviour?”  Answer _______________?

1.  The truth is that I can’t change anyone’s behaviour. They are going to make their own choices, Deuteronomy 30:15-19.

Luke 6:29 – “If someone strikes you on onecheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.”

2.  God does not want me to manipulate people into doing the ‘right’ thing.

3.  Even God can’t change people who don’t want to be changed.

Matthew 13:19 – “When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path.”

Creator God’s desire is that no man should perish but some will, through their free will choices, 2 Peter 3:9.

4.  In any sort of conflict, Jesus is always interested in MY response.  I’m the one He is trying to refine us through the events we go through, Zechariah 13:9.

Luke 6:42 – “How can you say to your brother,`Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

5.  It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict people and change them, not mine.

John 16:8 – “When He comes, He will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment.”


Which leads to believing the next lie:

LIE #2:  I can successfully avoid pain & hurt in my life

Silently ask Jesus this question:  “Lord Jesus, do I believe in my heart that I need to avoid hurt and pain?”

1.  The reason I feel the need to change others is two-fold:

a. I see them as the source of love, happiness, finance, etc., whereas God is the real source, they are the vessels He uses to bless me.

b. I want to change them, so they don’t hurt me anymore.

2.  The truth is that pain and hurt are going to come my way, whether I try to avoid it or not.

John 10:10 – “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

3.  It is better that I suffer for doing the right thing, than for the wrong,

1 Peter 2:20.  “But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it?  But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.”

4.  God can call me to suffer (persecution), like He suffered.

1 Peter 2:21 – “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.”


Which leads to believing the next lie:

LIE #3:  God is not a loving Father

Silently ask Jesus this question:  “Lord Jesus, do I believe in my heart that God is NOT a loving father?”

1.  This lie is possibly the foundation of all  sin. Genesis 3:5 – The serpent slanders God’s good intentions

2.  The Bible claims that God is good:

Luke 18:19 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered.  “No-one is good– except God alone.”

3.  God is love.

1John 4:16 – “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”

4.  God loves ME!

John 16:27 – “No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.”

5.  God wants to do me good, and not harm me.

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Matthew 5:45 – “that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”

2 Corinthians 1:3 – “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort …

6.  All fatherhood is sourced from God initially.

Ephesians 3:14-15 – “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.”

James 1:17 – “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

7.  God does need to discipline me, as any loving father would.

Hebrews 12:9 – “Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!”

8.  God can use my tragedies and hurts to refine me or bless others.

Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

When we have found the truth of God’s love, we can let go of these lies and accept people, ourselves and God the way He really is.  May you find this true on your journey with Him.

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author

Our thanks to Daniel Fengler for this post!

© Copyright 2009 From the Mentor’s Notebook, – All Rights Reserved.


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