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Life Law #2: Face the 4 Common Reactions to Change

FB Life StratiesMost people have cheated themselves out of the life that God wants to give them by settling for less that they are worth.  We can also cheat ourselves by not looking at the real issues and asking the hard questions.

Be willing to ask the Hard Questions: “Am I really headed where I want to go?”  “Is what I have settled for out of being safe, easy or not as scary rather than get what I really want?” “Am I taking life as it is – just because it has always been that way?” What would I like to see changed?”

Determine right now to let the rest of humanity live in the fog of self-deception and you and God can change your life.

The first common tendency for all of us is denial.  We can ficate on wht should be, wht ought to be or who to blame without dealing with the facts as they really are.  Yes, you do not always have a choice in life but how you handle your own reactions and see your choices is up to you.

The next common behaviour pattern is to make faulty assumptions about others or the situation you find yourself in.  Such assumptions cannot stand the test of truth or accuracy.  If we assume that the world is a logical, safe place and always act accordingly, we will find ourselves in a lot of pain.  Life isn’t always safe, especially if we chose to step somewhere without the Lord as your Guide.

The third common pattern we face when thinking about change to happen is our own inertia, a paralysis usually caused by fear or denial.  Sometimes this shows up in ignorance or in people who have an “I can’t be bothered” attitude.  Minimizing, rationalizing or using the list of ‘shoulds’ comes into this pattern of inertia.

Another common problem we might face is our own well-worn coping methods to get us past the crisis.  This is often a form of ‘deceptive masking’, ‘the “Stiff upper lip’ or “I’ll just tough it out” kind of thinking.

When we choose the behaviour, we are also choosing the consequences.  By choosing any of ‘The 4 Common Reaction Patterns’, we are also choosing the consequences of failing to reach our goals…again.  We must face the issues, strip away the excuses and get in to the frame of Mind to deal with the issues that are hurting us – without all the self-defeating, sabotage behaviours we have used in the past.

 

                        If you answer “yes’ to any of the following symptoms, the task ahead of you includes facing any of these 4 self-defeating patterns and finding answers.

1. Are you suffering lingering guilt, frustration or depression? _____

2. Living with financial burdens you can’t manage? _____

3. Living a lonely existence with little hope for change? _____

4. Living in a comfort zone that yields too little challenge? _____

5. Facing life that offers you too little of wht you really want and too much of what you don’t want? _____

6. Living in a fantasy world in which you think you are ‘bullet-proof’ when in fact, your actions entail possible risks? _____

7. Consistently complaining while in pursuit of your goals? _____

8. Just going through the motions’ of your life without passion, no plan or no goals? _____

9. Trudging zombie like through a dead or unchallenging career? _____

10. Silently enduring an emotionally barren life or marriage? _____

11. Stuck in a rut and not getting what you want out of life? _____

12. Continually capable of more than you are accomplishing? _____

13. Frustrated that you are not making more money in your job or career?

14. No happy with a ‘silent’, stuck relationship with God? _____

There never is a good time for your Will to help change happen; now is the time for the changes that the Lord says of you.  The game planhelp sign begins right now.  The past is gone but you have today.    Use the measuring stick of whether the patterns of your life are working or not working.  It isn’t a matter of being worthy of change or even the rights and wrongs of being allowed to change.  It isn’t a matter of luck or good genes!

By learning better life strategies, you can stop your part of the problem.  Knowing the laws that govern your behaviour and those around you will help your Will deal deal with life’s circumstances.  Change your behaviour and change will happen.  Resolve even now to take responsibility for your own life and deeper issues.  Recognise you limitations, yes but see the possibilities to find a more meaningful life in the long run.

At least for a time, consider, be prepared and actually do something different in your normal routine.  You can always go back to your old routine later.  Have a special journey on hand to record your journey, wht you have leaned and what you wish to change.  Allow the Lord to have His say as well.

HOMEWORK: List the top 5 things in your life where you want to see change happen.  Ask the Lord for His input.  Go back and renumber with the top priority at the top of your list.  Next, write down how ‘The Four Common Reaction Patterns’ have influenced these 5 things things on your list.  Be honest enough with yourself to try and strip away your self-defeating excuses, the rationalizations of your Mind and the Conscience’s justification for failure.

Resolve that if things aren’t working, you’re not going back to self-defeating behaviours. You are going to try something different – to get the something different that you want.

If you find yourself thinking “It’s just too hard.  No one really understands me.  This is all for other people.  I can’t focus on this because of my kids, my husband, my job, etc.  My problems are different than others.  I need to read this all again.  Until my spouse get with the program, why should I? I’m right and he/she is wrong!”  Now you have a choice.

If nothing else remember, you are accountable for your own life.  If you don’t choose to step up and work toward finding the real you, no one else will – or can, not even God.  Even the Lord can’t help you if you set your Will against Him.

2.  Get some time over this next week and see if you can get some idea as to where your Will is and what condition it seems to be.  Get a picture or words on how the Lord sees your Will too.

3. How does your Will seem to be getting along with the other players in the BR?

4.  Have you ever consciously, deliberately given your Will over to the Lord?

5.  Think about and write how your childhood experiences have shaped your will.

6.  Write down ant other issues that came out of this post..

 

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author

www.hearinggod.mentorsnotebook.com/blog

 (Adapted from the book by Dr Philip McGraw, called Life Strategies, Vermillion Press, London, England, (1999), pages 88 to 108 on one of the 9 ‘Life Laws’ or basic rules that govern our universe and human behaviour.)

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