10/19 Forgiveness means taking Responsibility for your own Growth in Hearing God

When you begin to acknowledge and accept the accountability for your own life, you will begin to understand women w glassesthat your role in creating the results you want in yours and God’s hands.  As an adult, you have the responsibility in your hands.  No matter what your life’s circumstances, you can no longer dodge the fact of your own input into where you are today.

If we haven’t learned to take responsibility, we will misdiagnose every problem.  If we get the diagnose wrong, we will get the treatment wrong and end up with another broken expectation.  Resisting or denying this basic principle keeps us in the realm of fantasy as the victim of life.  We must deal with our issues in the way the Creator designed us.

There is more than one way to be a victim:

 You can assist someone in being mean or unfair to you by being passive and accepting his or her abuse.

Or if you can believe that you are right and those who disagree with you are wrong, therefore the fault is not yours when conflict continues.

Either way, the fact is that you have control over situations that are happening and the emotions that are being generated in the present.  It is your ‘button’ now to deal with.  You must be willing to ‘own the problem’ and actively work toward a solution.  Quit looking for the answers in the wrong place.  Only the Lord has your Heart’s answers.

However, just determining that you want to change from now on is only part of the solution.  Realise that as an adult, you have already and always have been creating your own experience in your life.  Realise that how you did behave and the choices you made in the past influence where you are today.  Spend time ‘reframing reality’ to make it accurate by reassigning responsibility for your past – to you.  Remember you are following the Holy Spirit’s conviction not condemnation!

woman with ipadAssignment: Write out the details of 5 times in your life where yourself victimised, mistreated or in some way, unfairly dealt with.  Leave space under each event so you can record other information.

Invite the Lord’s help and think through the events again and sort out your responsibly for the events.  It may be found in something you did or did not do, the way you set yourself up for the results or failed to recognise certain warning signs.  It may have been having faulty expectations or faulty goals in the events.  Begin to live as an accountable person means that your are beginning to think as an accountable person.

At the heart of human nature is the tendency to blame others.  If we set out to find what causes our problems by looking at other people, we’ll never find the answers – because they aren’t there.  They’re in you.  No, you may not always be to blame for these ‘problems’ but you are now ‘responsible’.

As one person has pointed out, “You did what you knew how to do and, when you knew better, you did better.”

True, events that happened to you as a child were not your choosing.  Nor are we ‘responsible’ for the traumatic events there were done ‘to us’ as adults.  However, as an adult now, you do have the ability and the responsible for your choices about these events.

Your thoughts greatly influence your behaviour too.

  1. Choosing thoughts and their consequences connect with your physical body. Abstract thoughts have the power to produce tangible and dramatic physiological reactions for your whole body.
  2. Choosing thoughts that demean and de-appreciate yourself has consequences. If you choose thoughts contaminated with anger and bitterness, you will create an experience of alienation, isolation and hostility.
  3. The self-talk we continue in our mind about ourselves also causes consequences. Such typical negative statements might include:

“I’m not good enough.  I’m not smart enough.  I might as well give up now.  They’ll soon figure how what a failure I am and reject me.  I’m too young/too old to do this.”

When you chose the thinking, you choose the behaviour.   The ‘Law of Reciprocity’ simply put means that ‘you get what you give’.  This helps explain why others and the world respond to you the way that it does.  This also emphasises the importance of dealing with your own behaviours, your ‘sin’ in God’s way.

As you think through the process of change in your own life, consciously, purposefully and actively create the experiences that you do want, instead of suffering through experiences that you don’t want.  Even not choosing to respond means you have chosen.  Overcome the inertia and see how you do make choices.

The law of sowing and reaping is part of that accountability too.  It means that as you choose, as you plant new behaviours, you will find a different result in your own life.

Because you are accountable for your actions, you also have the choice to do something about such events; that is the good news.  For every choice you make, there are consequences.  If you choose destructive behaviours, you reap pain and dysfunction.  Choosing well means a better life now and in the future.

Keep this in mind as you deal with the list from the Holy Spirit on areas as you talk to the Lord.FB Life Straties

In our next post, we will discuss a brief summary of the ‘Life Laws’ or basic rules that govern our universe and human behaviour from the book by Dr. Philip C. McGraw called Life Strategies.

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author


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